Last Minute Stuff

Finishing up my packing; all I really wanna do is take a nap! I’m so tired!

Day 2 of not smoking and I am really feeling it today. Lots of withdrawal symptoms going on: sweating profusely, agitation, dizziness, irritability, etc. I have drank about a gallon of water today, trying to flush my system. Damned cigarettes! I hate them! I’m sick of being a slave to them! I am determined to be smoke-free once I hit Texas!
Natasha and Ms O. came over yesterday. When I first told Natasha I’m moving back to TX she was ok with it; yesterday, she began crying and telling me she doesn’t want me to go. I told her I’m not trying to hurt her, but I hate it here; I’m miserable here, is that what she’d rather see from me? I can’t stay up here for someone else’s happiness. I pray Natasha will continue to do better and better, but I cannot help but worry about her sobriety; she has been doing things in the last few months that all of us recognize as a pattern for her just before a relapse.
I can’t do any more for her whether I’m a mile away or a thousand miles away; all I can do is pray for her.
I am going to miss them but I do believe in my heart, I have made the right decision.
More Later…………